Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops