Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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