A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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=3

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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I'm Coming

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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