What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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