Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops