What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Knock knock Come in

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops