why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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