I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Your adopted.....

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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