How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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womens rights

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops