A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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