What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops