What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

deez nuts

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Why do fat people commit suicide

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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