How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops