Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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guess what? bannanas

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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