Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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12 in general

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops