Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops