What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the defination of cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops