A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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