What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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