Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops