There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

thumb_up thumb_down

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

thumb_up thumb_down

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down

what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops