A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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