Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops