i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Once upon a time a was born

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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