How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops