How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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