A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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