Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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civil rights

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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a

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops