An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Maths.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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