So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Hello

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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