life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops