How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops