A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops