if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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