What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops