What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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