What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A young baby died.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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guess what? bannanas

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Where's the soap?

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops