What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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