A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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