What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops