Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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