Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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drugs.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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