Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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A women left the kitchen.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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