How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops