Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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