school homewrok

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops