So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops