Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Knock Knock Come in

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Knock knock Come in

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops