knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

school homewrok

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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