- Anti Joke

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.