Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Yes

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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