A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

scraggle is in you pillow case

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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