Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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