What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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a

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops