What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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George W. Bush

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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