Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops