How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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