Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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