A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

thumb_up thumb_down -30

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Democracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops