A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Rylan Clark

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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