Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops