What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops