Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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i have two hands.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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A dog was barking at a tree

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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