Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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i hate non minorities!

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Charlie Sheen

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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