How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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jews

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Half life 3 confirmed

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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