How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

An orphan falls off a cliff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...