Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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