How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

My spelling is horrible

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...