Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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