What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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