A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -30

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -32

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

thumb_up thumb_down -32

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops