what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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