scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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