A women left the kitchen.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What? Huh?

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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