What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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human centipede

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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