How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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