- Anti Joke

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: starts to laugh Yeah...that's a funny cup.

Who is Dank? A: Billal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny