knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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A man goes to the potty.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Maths.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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