What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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