A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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