You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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school homewrok

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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