Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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i have two hands.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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