wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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