Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Julian Ha.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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