hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops