what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops