What long black and tasty? Licorice

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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