Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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69.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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