What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops