What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

Chuck Norris.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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