Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

thumb_up thumb_down -7

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops