There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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