Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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