Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

whats worse than failing your maths test?

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

womens rights

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

5 Italian guys from Long Island

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

9/11 my birthday

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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