Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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