A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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guess what? bannanas

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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school homewrok

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops