If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops