what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Jovan

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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