Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Potassium? K.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

A Chinese man fails a math test

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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