A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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