When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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