can you touch your toes? no

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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