whats worse than failing your maths test?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

thumb_up thumb_down -1

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops