Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

quantum physics?

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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