Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops