What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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