Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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