Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops