In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

hello

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

What's big and messy? A big mess

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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