I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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No

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops