roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

The diamond one below is hilarious.

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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