Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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