knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops