What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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2 black kids walk into school

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops