Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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