Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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