- Anti Joke

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.