Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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