Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Donald Trump

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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