I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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