There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What's just not right? Left

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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