What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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