A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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