Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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