What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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