Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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a

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A pope meets another one

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops