Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops