Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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