WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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