What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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hello

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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