What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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