2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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school homewrok

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops