Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Your mom.

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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