Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hej Erik och Leo!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

thumb_up thumb_down -26

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

95556

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -26

eoin burgin is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops