A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Ben Corbishley

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Chris is hairy

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops