How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops