The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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