Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Get up Look in the mirror

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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