A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops