How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Jesus Christ

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops