A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Maths.

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12/23/2012

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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