What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Yellow People !!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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