Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Women drivers...

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops