A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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A women left the kitchen.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What? Huh?

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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