Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops