Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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