Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

What did John name his dog? Doggy

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...