A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Communism hehe xd

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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