If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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school homewrok

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Potassium? K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops