What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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