Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops