Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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human centipede

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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