roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

thumb_up thumb_down

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

thumb_up thumb_down

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops