there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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