What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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