You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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