How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My jeans

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops