Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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