whos on the right track? lady gaga

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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