what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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civil rights

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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