What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops