Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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I am a mime

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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