- Anti Joke

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

Cripples are lame.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Tony Romo

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

Cripples are lame.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Tony Romo

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!