what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Democracy.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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