What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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