What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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