Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

why did the blue berry cross the road

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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