What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops