What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

your mom was so fat that she died.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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