so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Do you play piano? No

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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