Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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