Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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HELLO EVERYONE

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops