What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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