Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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