Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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