What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...