roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Maths.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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