What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Yes

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woman's rights

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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