Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Maths.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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