What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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how much fish could a chicken

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woman's rights

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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