What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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