- Anti Joke

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

my penis

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!