How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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