What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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