Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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