A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Half life 3 confirmed

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops