A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops