what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

My spelling is horrible

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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