Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

What's big and messy? A big mess

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

Do you play piano? No

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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