A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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