Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops