Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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