what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops