A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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