why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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