what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -28

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Stop. Seriously stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops