Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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the economy.

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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