Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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