So a bar walks into a man...

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Jovan

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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