A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Turkey Balls

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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My jeans

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a black man pays his child support

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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