Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops