Why do fat people commit suicide

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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