why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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NEVER

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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