Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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