What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops