An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

I have a really funny joke.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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