A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops