A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down -1

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops