Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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