An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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eat a hot dog

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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