Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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Sarah Palin.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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