Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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drugs.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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