Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

thumb_up thumb_down -13

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -13

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops