what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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guess what? bannanas

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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