why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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