MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

Who wants water? I do.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

what's funny about war? nothing!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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