If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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