If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops