There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops