whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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What is better than life? Nothing.

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

Bitch

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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