Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...