Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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