Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

"Knock knock." "Come in."

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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