Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops