Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What does two plus two equal? 4

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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