Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops