Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Maths.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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