What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

My jeans

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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