A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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