How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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