- Anti Joke

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops