Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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I'm Polish.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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