If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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okay so theres this guy.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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