roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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