Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops