Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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