why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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God is real.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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