What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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96

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops