What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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