Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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