Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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