A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

thumb_up thumb_down -43

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops