How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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I'm Polish.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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