What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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