ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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