Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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My spelling is horrible

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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