Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

So a bar walks into a man...

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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