Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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