What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

What is 9+10? 19

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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