a. why? b. because I wanted

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

Women's rights.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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