What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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A black man walks out of a police station

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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