There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

A Chinese man fails a math test

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Hello

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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