what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops