What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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My spelling is horrible

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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