Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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