"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops