A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

8================D-------- (.Y.)

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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