I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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