I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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My jeans

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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