John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops