What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops