A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Cheese

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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