why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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knock knock Goodbye

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops