How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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