How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops