How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Why? Because.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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