this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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