Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

What are annoying? Ads.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

A dancer walks into a barre

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...