Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

A black man walks out of a police station

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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