A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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