Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

So a bar walks into a man...

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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