What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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