How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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