What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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