Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

what is white and sticky? glue.

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

a banana

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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