Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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nbjhfghl

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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a banana

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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