Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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