once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

no

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops