What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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