Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Donald Trump

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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