Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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