How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops