Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops