His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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