Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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9/11 my birthday

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops