Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

roses are black violets are black i am blind

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

the WNBA.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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