A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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