whos on the right track? lady gaga

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Pain Olympics.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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