whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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