Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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