5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Your mom.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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