Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

NEVER

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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