What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

a. why? b. because I wanted

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

What long black and tasty? Licorice

Women's rights.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...