Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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