Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Turkey Balls

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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