Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ever tried african food? they neither

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops