Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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