What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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