What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

autistic kids rock

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

My cat just died.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...