Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Diarrhea

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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