WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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