Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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