What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Read a Book.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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