What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Pain Olympics.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Gus's mom

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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