What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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