knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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