How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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