Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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I'm Polish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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