What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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