What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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