why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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