And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops