What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops