- Anti Joke

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Tony Romo

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name