hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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12 in general

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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human centipede

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops