What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops