John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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womens rights.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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