What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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