A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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