What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops