Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Knock Knock.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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