1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops