How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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