What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

why was kade sad? he shit himself

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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