Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Weaner

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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