Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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