What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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An anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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