What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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