What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Sarah Palin.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops