Im about to rewrite History....... History

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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