A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops