A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Paper or plastic? Yes...

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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