My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

why does the man appear fat he is

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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