Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops