what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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