So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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I'm Polish.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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