- Anti Joke

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

my penis

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

What rhymes with milk...milf

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.