What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Maths.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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