What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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autistic kids rock

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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