I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops