My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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My Nan, that is all.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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