I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Half life 3 confirmed

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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