How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

God is real.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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