96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops