What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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