Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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guess what? bannanas

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops