Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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God is real.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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