A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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This is an anti-joke.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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