What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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