What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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womens rights

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Bitch

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like if your cool

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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