A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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