How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops