What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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