What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops