- Anti Joke

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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