Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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