Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Poop

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Cripples are lame.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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