What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops