blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

A dancer walks into a barre

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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