The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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