Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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