A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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