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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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dat shoe shine tho

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops