Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Puns are terrible. I love them.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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