My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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12 in general

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops