What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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A dog was barking at a tree

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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