What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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