What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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