My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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