Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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womens rights.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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