how do you call someone? use a phone

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops