What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Death by kayak

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Hats better than a stick? A stone

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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