Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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I'm Polish.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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