A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops