Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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rarw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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