Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Poop

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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