Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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