One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

Cheese

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

A black man walks out of a police station

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

Puns are terrible. I love them.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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