Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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