Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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My children are mistakes

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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