You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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