Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

Want to hear a joke? Obama

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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