Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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marble

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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