In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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