What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Obama

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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cc

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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