How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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