Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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josh simpson has cancer

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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