How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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DERP

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A black succeeds

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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