I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Black people are innocent.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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I like to eat.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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No.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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