A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Jews for Jesus

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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No.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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No joke.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops