Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -73

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

A baby seal walks in to a club

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

69

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops