Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

No joke.

A black succeeds

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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