What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What will happen when a black person die they die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

live babies

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there .. derp

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

thumb_up thumb_down

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Womens Sports

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops