How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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A black succeeds

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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DERP

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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