Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops