What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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George W. Bush

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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