How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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GooglePlus.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Shit.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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knock knock you may come in

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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