Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What's 6+2? 16

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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