Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Lockerbie bombing

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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