Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Liars go to hell! -God

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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69

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Anti jokes are funny

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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