how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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