Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

can you touch your toes? no

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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