An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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