Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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i dont fisish anythi

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops