Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What long black and tasty? Licorice

Knock Knock Who did that?

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...