What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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A pope meets another one

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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