Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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What is my name? I dont know

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Denard Robinson

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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