What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Lololol

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What? Huh?

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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