I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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