your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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