What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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