How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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