Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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