Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops