What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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woman's rights

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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