What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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