Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

thumb_up thumb_down +6

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops