How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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