Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops