Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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