Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

What rhymes with milk...milf

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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