If you just read this, You're dead.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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