What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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