How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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